I Could Have Made It Better

Look at the wind
the flower,
the debris
And take in the
sound of
rustling oak leaves
and the arrogance
of dissonant cigarette trees
And realize the past
we could have had.

And remember the way
you cocked your hip
and spat and lied
and dived and dipped
and swore sweet blasphemies
off your lips
rolling around in an
angry-shit-fit
that skewered me
from your grace?

But that was okay
all right
and fine,
because sometimes
we screamed
and hollered
and climbed
all in search of
what we called
the divine,

And still we fell too fast

And still we fell too fast

And still we fell too fast

To feel the heat trapped in your hair
to search the stars with a caressing air
and tip the tables without a care

And I don’t know
I don’t know why

I don’t know
I don’t know why

We faltered
broke,
slipped
and cracked

and looked outside
and wept
black
white
gray
and old

so we watched
the movie slowly
unfold
and grow
underneath
my skin

And days went by
and then later weeks
and still the air was
warm and sweet

And I filled my thoughts
with dreams for you

And I filled my thoughts of
dreams of you

And I filled my thoughts of
dreams without you

And still,
we persisted.

And when
we finally blundered
to the end
when we cast our stones
and left our sin
I tasted only the bitterness
of your kiss.
And felt
the way
you felt.